It’s thanks to women such as Buddhini Samarasinghe who have come forward with their stories of abuse, despite the challenges and abuse that she faced, as part of the #MeToo wave that is sweeping our nation today. It really is (hopefully) just the beginning of a fundamental change in society and how we view masculinity and power.
The fact that TIME Magazine chose “The Silence Breakers” as their “Person of the Year” for 2017 is hopefully the first real recognition of these women, and hopefully it will encourage and embolden more women to do the same, to hold abusers and harassers accountable.
Originally shared by Buddhini Samarasinghe
The Silence Breakers
I didn’t realise that the Silence Breakers of the #MeToo movement had been named Time Magazine’s person of the year until a friend sent me a message. He said “I counted and visualized you on the cover among the Silence Breakers this morning. – I’m proud to know you”
It was only then that I realised that my own #MeToo story was written before the Weinstein story broke – you can see the timestamp here (https://goo.gl/fCVx5Z), because I broke my silence on September 20th, 2016.
Being a ‘Silence Breaker’ comes at a cost, and sometimes I’ll admit that cost can feel overwhelming. I have felt so alone and so unseen through various points of this journey because it’s easy when you read stories like this to forget that we, the survivors of abuse, live with that shadow over us for far longer than the interest in the story lasts. Since I began talking about what happened to me, I have had friends who inexplicably distanced themselves from me, as if I was permanently damaged, and then eventually completely disappear from my life. I have had people who initially offered support but then lost interest in even maintaining a semblance of contact after the novelty wore off for them. I have had to defend myself (and my choice to speak out) to friends, co-workers, and of course, strangers on the internet. I have had to expose my wounds and share my trauma again and again as I attempt to demonstrate how abuse doesn’t happen in isolation, and bystanders are as complicit as the abusers themselves.
And all this time, the man who abused me has not done any accountability for the harm he caused. His friends who stayed silent have not done any accountability for the harm they caused. It feels unfair, and it feels imbalanced, and it makes me feel so exhausted.
It is exhausting to be a Silence Breaker. I don’t do it for the attention, and I wish I didn’t have an experience of abuse to share. To be clear, I don’t regret sharing my story publicly, but I do wish it hadn’t been so damn hard. If we truly want to honour the Silence Breakers as this year’s Person of the Year, then be a part of that change. Even if you are lucky enough to never have experienced abuse or harassment, educate yourself on how you can support people like us. Amplify our voices. Hold your peers, co-workers, family, and friends accountable for their behaviour. Do better, so that we can someday live in a world where stories like this won’t need to be reported because gasp abusers think twice about behaving the way they do.
http://time.com/time-person-of-the-year-2017-silence-breakers/
http://time.com/time-person-of-the-year-2017-silence-breakers/